Words of Happy

Words of Happy - the blog

A blog is every writers fashion accessory, so I hear. And as a professional writer I simply must have the latest fashion accessory. Yes, I actually get to call myself a professional writer as I have and do write, on a regular and paid basis, feature articles and columns for national magazines. The most unusual of these is as a dating and romance columnist for a magazine that is produced solely for prison inmates. The most fun was for an industry magazine for cafes.

I have also been a journalist which took me a weird place because the last paper I worked for put me on as the sports journalist. Really odd choice considering I didn’t even know there were three different types of football. I wish I didn’t know there were three types of football. There really only needs to be Union. The other 2 are just trying to be cool like Union but fall embarrassingly short. League has a thuggish overtone to it and AFL has a propensity to love the sound of their own whistle. The bloody whistle goes off every 2 seconds, it’s ridiculous.

And hell, cricket is without a doubt the most boring sport I have ever watched and I have watched at least 4 different sports. Plus flies go up your nose a lot when you are out on the field. Not ok.

My writing career began when I was 11. I wrote a story for my Aunt for her birthday, it was about a princess called Ashley (my middle name – lucky I wasn’t writing a mystery) who was going on a quest to kill her younger sister (I have one of those) because she was evil and was trying to destroy the world. In this case I can assure you - life did not imitate art. Younger sister is still alive but if 11 year old me had more of a say, this would not have been the case. We get on now though. She lives in another country and it’s far far away. A safe distance away. Just kidding, she’s a good bloke. 

Pre-blog, I did my homework, which consisted of thinking really hard about the name for the blog and reading Blogging for Dummies (yes really). Then it was a matter of stocking up on my writing material. According to Blogging for Dummies this will be a ‘life’ blog. It’s about everything and anything and most of all it is supposed to be entertaining and perhaps even a little bit funny.

And like all writers, especially the cliché ones, I have written a novel. It’s totally going places, it’s sitting in my top draw. Sometimes I take it out and think ‘holy s#*t this is a literary masterpiece’. But most days I take it out and think ‘oh god, this is a disaster’. And since the novel, after three years, is completed, I need an outlet for my sarcastic humor, so this blog is it. Apparently if I get a million followers, book contracts will fall out of the sky and I will be not only be a professional writer, I will be a rich and famous one. Fingers crossed. 

Comments are very much encouraged on this blog. Feel free to post as you feel, you can even say that you don’t like a post I have written. I doubt this would be the case, but the freedom of choice is there, if you so choose to use it. If you have a specific topic you would like me to cover, that would be super fun also. The only things that are off limit are my friends and family, which is a big shame because they are all very much insane and would make very interesting posts. But then I would have no friends or family and then there would be on-one left to read my blog and then I would never be rich and famous. Catch 22.

Finally, and most importantly, this blog is an excuse, a means to use my Philosophy Major. So now, after 20 years of people asking me ‘what can you do with a Philosophy Major’, I have an answer – write sarcastic pieces of writing and post them on the internet.